Prom

Today would be Sam's prom, a day we always talked about. It's been a really hard day for me so far... knowing that she should be with her friends getting ready for one of the biggest days of her life. I wonder what dress she would have picked... would she have really worn glitter converse like she always said she would. BTW I always told her that was not appropriate so that would have been our first prom preparation spat. LOL! I wonder what color she would have picked for her dress or how she would have worn her hair. I always try to wish her here but it doesn't seem to work. I bet she would probably be on the phone with poor Andrew yelling at him.... she always gave him hell. Andrew and Sam had always been in this strange love hate friendship for a long time, she loved him she would just never admit it to anyone and I know he loved her back, she always said no matter what he was gonna be her prom date. So at least I know who she would have gone with.

I ALWAYS wonder if Jim Howard realizes what he took from these girls and our families. Does he sit in his cell and think about them at times or does he just not care? I wish he could have met them, then he'd know the joy they brought to my day. I wonder if he ever had someone bring joy to his life? Or is he just a miserable soul? Though I have forgiven him for what he has done to my daughter and our family it doesn't help my grief. I miss her everyday, every morning when I open my eyes and I realize it hasn't been some long nightmare, it hurts all over again, just like it did the night she passed away. I wish everyone would think before they got behind the wheel of their car after drinking. I know taking a cab isn't cool but it won't kill you or anyone else.....

I love and miss Sam soooo much, if Jim Howard would have called someone, pulled over or even called a cab I would be seeing my daughter get into a limo with all her friends and Andrew to go to prom tonight, but instead we are planning to go to her graveside to plant sunflowers.....