Dear Mr. Howard

I have never ever met you, yet you affect my life in ways that no one I have ever known. Its almost 1 a.m. on Saturday morning and I wonder what will I say to you when we finally come face to face. Will you have remorse for what you have done to all these kids? What if anything will you say to me? I often wonder if your mother loved you they way I loved Sam... or was she mean to you? Did she ever tell you that she loved you or hug and kiss you as you walked out the door? Or did she always hit you and call you names? As me and my family struggle through life I wonder so may things... like is it as hard for you to wake up in the mornings like me. Do you drag yourself out of bed because everytime you wake up you realize this isn't some horrible nightmare like me? I wonder if you and your family need couseling like mine. Do your brothers and sisters cry for you and miss you? And are they sad cause they have to see you through a t.v. monitor? Or are they just glad their not having to visit your grave... like me? I wonder how your family would feel if your life was summed up to years in prison, how many years would your life be worth to them? As I sit here writing my victim impact statement I wonder what to say.... what do you say to the person you've never met that killed your child?